


Why Did You Have To Wait?

by Lidsworth



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Eating Disorders, M/M, Tumblr request
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-14
Updated: 2015-11-14
Packaged: 2018-05-01 13:29:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5207585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lidsworth/pseuds/Lidsworth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Urie tries to come up with excuses for Takeomi's eating disorder. Just anything that prevents him from directly interfering. Though it isn't until things go to hell that Urie regrets his excuses and wishes he acted earlier.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Why Did You Have To Wait?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Tumblr Anon](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Tumblr+Anon).



> Pairings: Takuki  
> Warnings: Graphic descriptions of eating disorders!!  
> A/N: This is part 1, I'll get to part two eventually. Hope you enjoy it =) You can read it here on ao3.

If there was one thing that Takeomi Kuroiwa could school Urie on any given day without the half-ghoul acting bitter at his obvious disadvantage, it had to be cooking. Unlike the field work that both men partook in while employed at the CCG, where Urie at least had a slight chance of outshining Takeomi, the kitchen was a different story. It was a battlefield that the quinx would rather not tread on.

 

Between the hot boiling rice, the chopping of stainless steal knives, the grinding of raw meat, and other enigmatic actions that went on within the kitchen, Urie found himself unusually intimidated, whilst Takeomi found himself in his element. Though it was worth it, the masterpieces that came out of that kitchen were heavenly.

 

In all honesty, Urie should not have been surprised . Takeomi's culinary skills had to be the epitome of great cooking, he must've gotten them from his mother. She fattened his father up like a whale, and throughout his many months of being in a relationship with Takeomi, he wondered if his boyfriend was following in his mother's footsteps.

 

Urie could always count on a well prepared meal sitting on the table, steaming and practically enticing him as he walked into their apartment after an exhausting day at work. And at any given time during he and Takeomi's few days off, he would hand Urie an array of freshly baked pastries or salty trinkets that would suffice his appetite until dinner.

 

And while Urie enjoyed the many foods that his boyfriend showered upon him, a little after they established their relationship, he noticed the absence of food on Takeomi's part. One would have thought that with the many hours he spent while in the kitchen, that he would have produced enough food to at least provide for himself—and truthfully, he did make _enough_ food. Takeomi just never at it.

 

Often times Takeomi would stare at the plate of greasy food that he had made for himself, look at it, and throw it away. He'd rather watch Urie eat than do so himself. The shorter investigator used to believe that perhaps Takeomi had tainted his food or spiked it or something, as he had never seen him eat it himself.

 

That changed eventually as their relationship progressed, though the revelation hurt Urie more than anything.

 

It had been during one occasion after work, where both men had practically exhausted themselves fighting a notorious group of ghouls. Of course Takeomi had gotten to cooking immediately when he and Urie arrived home, and as usual, neglected to feed himself. It wasn't until Urie made him eat each and everything on his plate did he actually see his boyfriend consume food for the first time. Much to Urie's surprise, he seemed incredibly eager to swallow the contents of the plate, almost as if he wanted to get it over with (just so Urie could see him eating).

 

They finished after thirty minutes, ans Takeomi had excused himself almost immediately following Urie's offer to wash dishes. Surprised by how quickly his boyfriend had left the living room, Urie found himself following Takeomi down the hallway, using his investigator stealth to go undetected. On a separate occasion, despite Urie's skillfulness, Takeomi would have noticed him instantly. But this was different. His need to go seek shelter towards what looked to be the bathroom completely trumped his normal reflexes.

 

And while his lack of awareness was rather alarming to Urie, nothing tore his heart out more than what followed next. He watched in absolute horror as Takeomi's own two fingers found themselves crawling up his throat following the initiation of the gag reflex. The pungent odor of vomit followed moments later, as semi digested food found itself plopping into the toilet.

 

Seized with confusion and underlying fear, Urie found himself retreating to the kitchen where he could drown out the putrid sound of his boyfriend gagging himself over the toilet. At that moment, Urie knew he should have helped, though fear (of what, he didn't know) and confusion caused a mental blockage that reinforced itself with excuses. Perhaps Takeomi was just ill and the food didn't sit well with him. Perhaps this wasn't what Urie thought it was, oh he hoped it wasn't what he thought it was.

 

He'd encountered it before on the radio. An artist of his had made a song celebrating her battle against an eating disorder. Of course curiosity had gotten the best of him then, and he learned the basics of an eating disorder. But he didn't think there would ever be a time when he'd have to apply his knowledge to real life, let alone a loved one.

 

Takeomi was strong, his body was well built and tough. There was no sign of thinness. He was pale—but that was normal for him (at least Urie tried to tell himself that). His knuckles sported a rather fleshy tint to them, but Urie figured that they'd gotten that color due to his training sessions.

 

Nothing out of the ordinary. Nothing to suggest a problem.

 

Though countless times after he forced himself through a meal, Urie would follow Takeomi in silence, watching as he emptied the contents of his stomach into the toilet. Now he knew not to follow when his boyfriend left, he knew perfectly well what sight he'd be subjected to.

 

The fact that he was repulsed for it mean that it was indeed a problem.

 

And Urie cursed himself for it, but he let Takeomi carry on the act. Let him spill out his guts into the toilet. Urie was a coward, he knew. But what the hell was he supposed to do? He didn't know how to help anyone, let alone someone as guarded as Takeomi. Perhaps it was better if he left it alone. It seemed as if his boyfriend had been doing this ages before they'd met, so why interfere? Why do anything? What if he helped and ruined their relationship? What if it changed things? What if Takeomi left him?

 

In his research, Urie had come across countless stories where one partner in an seemingly perfect relationship brought up their counterparts addiction, or illness or whatever shit threatened their happy lives. It almost never ended perfectly, never. It had taken long enough for he and Takeomi to get together, yet it could take moments to break them apart.

 

 

However, six months into their relationship, Urie had decided to change the vicious cycle. To bad it took a terrible wake up call to motivate him.

 

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

 

Urie's sighed an utter sigh of relief as he placed the last signed document on top of the large stack of already high piled papers. Hours of desk work and the young investigator felt more exhausted than he had on some of his more grueling days on the front lines.

 

Casting his gaze towards the clock that hung above the cubicle door, he brought a finger to the bridge of his nose. If his calculations were correct, Takeomi wouldn't be home till past midnight. It was five in the afternoon. Looks like he'd be fending himself. Not that it mattered though, he guessed. When Takeomi wasn't there to cook for him, Urie indulged himself in raw meat.

 

Human meat was a rarity in their household, and he savored it whenever he had the chance. Though as mouth watering and enticing as the raw organs had been to the ghoul, it paled in comparison to Takeomi's cooking.

His cooking didn't just taste good, Takeomi's cooking _felt_ good. He put himself into is meals, expressed himself in his foods. And he gave it all to Urie. Though judging by the fact Takoemi would be gone...there was no hope of a good dinner.

 

Or so he thought.

 

As he prepared to organize the papers and send them off, Shirazu suddenly burst into his office. Face flushed and panting profusely , the redhead grabbed the door frame as he he attempted to steady himself. His white coat hung open, and he was absent of the usual armor that investigators sported just before deployment. Urie turned towards him with a curious expression, taking in his team mate's disheveled appearance.

 

Being a man of few words, Urie sat silently in his chair as he waited for Shirazu to catch his breath and begin the conversation. He supposed that the state of Shirazu should have been a warning sign that something was off, however his friend was usually always overly rambunctious. This was nothing new.

 

“S-Somthing,” he finally managed after about two minutes, “S-something...happened...c-com—follow me!”

 

Urie tensed slightly. There were very few things in this world that warranted Urie's concern, and Shirazu knew this very well. Therefore, the fact that he had shown up in Urie's office in such a state, given the location he was in to begin with (he was being deployed with Takeomi as well), meant that something absolutely dreadful had occurred.

 

And then something suddenly dawned upon Urie.

 

“I though that you were being deployed with Takeomi,” spoke the purple haired investigator as he made to stand.

 

“Yeah,” Shirazu managed as he paced his breathing, “That's the thing...Takeomi never made it out of the door.”

 

“What do you mean 'he didn't make it out of the door?”

 

“Exactly what I said,” slightly calmer, the redhead relaxed, “He collapsed right when we were about to get into the van. He's in the hospital now...they haven't told us much yet, only that it has something to do with malnutrition—and I had to sneak to hear that! It's so weird though, malnutrition? I'm surprised he doesn't eat as much as his dad--”

 

Urie was already out of the door mid Shirazu's sentence. A sensation of guilt clung to his very being as his mind replayed the many instances in which he watched his boyfriend stand over the toilet and gag himself.

 

This was his fault.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

They stalked through the city with ghoulish speed, Urie utilizing his RC cells the most among the both of them. Had Shirazu not been a Q, he most defiantly would have fallen behind his team mate.

 

The shorter male headed no street lights or pedestrian sighs. More than once Shirazu had to apologize to irritated drivers as Urie walked across the street when it clearly wasn't his time to go.

 

“Shit Urie, if you keep on like this you won't live long enough to see him,” Shirazu cursed just as he caught up to his friend, “And like I said, it's just malnutrition. All he has to do is eat something and he should be fine! Let's try not to end up in the hospital ourselves, okay?”

 

As they walked and maneuvered themselves through the large crowd of pedestrians , Urie remained silent for a short while. It wasn't until the hospital was in their sight did he begin to speak. At the sight of the building, an immense sense of guilt _and_ shame erupted within the investigator.

 

This could have been avoided had he willed himself to do something...but he watched silently as a bystander, had let his own fears get in the way. And now Takeomi was suffering.

 

“Shirazu...this is all my fault,” spoke the investigator as his sudden halt brought both of them to a stop, “All my fucking fault.”

 

Shirazu rose an eyebrow, unsure of what had triggered Urie's newest bout of depression.

 

“Urie we don't have time for you to sulk! Come on, we gotta go! I'm sure you're the first person he wants to see! That's why I got you!” And with that, Shirazu seized his friend's wrist and led him to the hospital. Urie followed him limply.

 

He had no idea how he'd even face Takeomi.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm in this organization at my university centered around stopping all forms of violence. And while this story isn't necessarily about violence, a huge thing emphasized is doing something before it progresses into something nasty. With that said, I had that in mind as I was writing this out. 
> 
> Despite seeing many signs, Urie didn't help. Not until it was too late. Believe it or not, this isn't unnatural nor is it unheard of. People don't know how to help, they don't know what to do, they don't want the person to be mad at that. Alongside that, this is Japan, where mental illness isn't necessarily a topic that is easily discussed. And with the stigma surrounding it, Urie's reluctance to do anything isn't out of the ordinary. 
> 
> So I wanted to highlight that occurrence, to draw attention to it. When we don't act, things get bad. Anyway, i'll try to update this in little over a month. Hope you enjoyed it tumblr anon. 
> 
> Please keep the world in your prayers, especially Paris! Have a wonderful week and God bless.


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